16. Gay High School Juniors: Wes, Aneesa, Diem, Tyrie, Heather
This team will not win anything besides style points for Aneesa
15. Mark Long's Left Pec: Wes, Camilla, Sarah, Rachel
Why the'll win it all: Wes returns to his roots as an elimination round stud. Camilla sits atop the power couple throughout the competition. Sarah sticks around long enough to cause some trouble and Rachel reminds everyone she's the best female player ever.
Why they won't: Does any of that besides Camilla sound very likely to you?
14. Dustin: Pay for Gay: Diem, Abram, Emily, Dustin
Why they'll win it all: Diem finally wins a challenge in the feelgood story of 2012 coming all the way back from ovarian cancer. Abram goes on the rampage we all know he is capable of but have never seen. Emily and Dustin pleasantly surprise.
Why they won't: Diem is relying big time on CT to not go insane and get her kicked off, same with Emily and Ty. Dustin probably won't be here long and Abram is a loose cannon.
13. Team Maxfield: Ty, Paula, Leroy, Aneesa, Heather
Why they'll win it all: Ty careers and finally embraces his destiny as the black CT. Paulas newfound confidence from winning a challenge enables her to work with Dunbar. Leroy and Aneesa are their usual solid selfs and Heather manages to stick around for a few weeks.
Why they won't: This team is all role players and no stars. Meaning when the clock is ticking down and you need someone to have an STD scare who do you turn to?
12. Just a Business Relationship: Jasmine, Dunbar, Naomi, Diem, Priscilla
Why they'll win it all: Every single one of these players has a little crazy in them: Jasmine; multiple personalities, Dunbar; sexual deviancy, Naomi; stage 5 clinger, Diem; long term association with CT, Priscilla; 19 yrs old
Why they won't: Crazy doesn't have the best history in winning challenges.
11. Tonya's Titties: Dunbar, Cara Maria, Aneesa, Tyrie
Why they'll win it all: Dunbar is a real threat to rape over half the cast, which for sure will leave Cara Maria in tears in a scene reminiscent of 300 "your not going to like this". Tyrie might actually be in good enough shape to play for the University of Nebraska for the first time in his life.
Why they won't: Dunbar and Paula hate each other too much to succeed. Cara Maria and Abe seem destined to explode. Aneesa has to compete with the boys. And Tyrie despite being 100 pounds less of Tyrie is still Tyrie.
Top 10 after the jump:
10. The Swamp Donkeys: Wes, Cara Maria, Robin, Dustin, Vinny
Why they'll win it all: Doubling up on the Wes trying to make a castmate cry and succeeding and Cara Maria handcuff was a stroke of genius. Vinny completes his transformation into Big Easy making no one want to face him in the Domefor fear weight will be involved.
Why they won't: Quite honestly Cara Maria and Robin are the only ones I expect to last past week 4. And I don't think Robin is gonna be involved in much drama.
9. Twink Squad: CT, Robin, Emily, Rachel, Mandi
Why they'll win it all: CT and Rachel intimidate the rest of the castmates to the point everyone else is afraid to look at them and Mandi sleeps her way back to the top next to CT in a move calculated by CT to infuriate Diem.
Why they won't win it all: CT has a history of trimming the fat which is typically woman. This does not bode well for Team Cleaver.
8. LeanBodyMovement: CT, Jasmine, Leroy, Nate
Why they'll win it all: CT cannabalizes all of his housemates including his teammates tho Nate gets heavily intoxicated beforehand.
Why they won't: All of their partners have serious flaws that could impair their ability to make it deep in the game
7. Team Mike: Mark, Mandi, Naomi, Vinny
Why they'll win: Mark gets all the way to the end and wins his first Challenge since Battle of the Sexes as part of his farewell tour. Mandi and Wes go into every single Dome where they fight and coitus their way through them. And Naomi ends up being every bit as crazy as we think.
Why they won't: Aside from Mark none of the other three members of this team have accomplished anything in elimination rounds.
6. Dunbar's Always Watching: Leroy, Abram, Dunbar, Naomi, Nate
Why they'll win it all: Leroy is a true genius who knows how stick around and pull out a clutch surprising win. Abram has tattoos and brands all over his body that he gave himself and is a real threat to wind up with multiple unexplained Cold sores. And there's a real chance Dunbar rapes someone this time
Why they won't: Naomi sucks. Abram could be quit to go save his business again. Paula could get creeped out by Dunbar and quits on him. And lets be real Nate's not gonna help much.
5. Ageless Wonders: Mark Long, Bananas, Emily, Rachel, Tyrie
Why they'll win it all: Mark and Bananas are the best one two punch in all of the leagues. Emily and Rachel are by far the strongest two girls in the game and Tyrie has dropped serious weight plus we know from the previews Jasmine's gonna hit him.
Why they won't: Lets be honest Mark is a little old he could easily throw a back, Rachel has to beat the boys everytime out that won't be easy. And oh yeah Tyries challenge history sucks.
4. Casual Molestation: CT, Abram, Mandi, Nate, Sarah
Why they'll win: The new mature CT returns to Duel II era punch through wall fitness with Duel I era restraint and dominates the competition, Abram goes insane, Mandi sleeps around, and Nates castmates stage an intervention.
Why they won't: The sight of Diem sends CT in Duel II era anger causing him to punch someone and go home, Abram dissassioates back to the small town Montana boy, Mandi stays loyal to her bf, and Nate gets a job at a nuclear power plant.
3. Team Burden: Mark, Jasmine, Ty, Paula, Vinny
Why the'll win: Mark Long will provide sound zen veteran leadership for a squad of noted youngster upandcoming hotheads in Jasmine, Ty, and Vinny enabling them to go further than ever before. Meanwhile Paula will do her thing crying and eating her skin in the background.
Why they won't: We haven't seen Mark Long since the Duel II it is certainly possible he lost a step and besides Paula none of the rest have even made a final challenge.
2. Team Staed: Johnny, Robin, Ty, Paula
Why they'll win: Johnny Robin and Paula are all veterans who know how to go deep into Challenges and score points along the way, getting Paula in the final round was the best pick out of all 3 drafts. Ty has scraped a decent career without really trying according to castmates if he decides to turn it on could be a factor.
Why they won't: If Bunim-Murray decides to feature the next generation these vets screen times could be seriously decreased reducing their point scoring abilities.
1. Effin Bananas: Bananas, Camilla, Cara Maria, Sarah, Dustin
Why they'll win: Johnny is the best player in this years challenge hands down. Camilla and Cara Maria are two of the better competitors for girls and also stand to gain major crying points. Sarah and Dustin are the best kind of non-factors capable of surprising you.
Why they won't: Wes and Mandi winning the power couple and sending in Bananas and Camilla could backfire on the #EffinBananas handcuff.
This team will not win anything besides style points for Aneesa
15. Mark Long's Left Pec: Wes, Camilla, Sarah, Rachel
Why the'll win it all: Wes returns to his roots as an elimination round stud. Camilla sits atop the power couple throughout the competition. Sarah sticks around long enough to cause some trouble and Rachel reminds everyone she's the best female player ever.
Why they won't: Does any of that besides Camilla sound very likely to you?
14. Dustin: Pay for Gay: Diem, Abram, Emily, Dustin
Why they'll win it all: Diem finally wins a challenge in the feelgood story of 2012 coming all the way back from ovarian cancer. Abram goes on the rampage we all know he is capable of but have never seen. Emily and Dustin pleasantly surprise.
Why they won't: Diem is relying big time on CT to not go insane and get her kicked off, same with Emily and Ty. Dustin probably won't be here long and Abram is a loose cannon.
13. Team Maxfield: Ty, Paula, Leroy, Aneesa, Heather
Why they'll win it all: Ty careers and finally embraces his destiny as the black CT. Paulas newfound confidence from winning a challenge enables her to work with Dunbar. Leroy and Aneesa are their usual solid selfs and Heather manages to stick around for a few weeks.
Why they won't: This team is all role players and no stars. Meaning when the clock is ticking down and you need someone to have an STD scare who do you turn to?
12. Just a Business Relationship: Jasmine, Dunbar, Naomi, Diem, Priscilla
Why they'll win it all: Every single one of these players has a little crazy in them: Jasmine; multiple personalities, Dunbar; sexual deviancy, Naomi; stage 5 clinger, Diem; long term association with CT, Priscilla; 19 yrs old
Why they won't: Crazy doesn't have the best history in winning challenges.
11. Tonya's Titties: Dunbar, Cara Maria, Aneesa, Tyrie
Why they'll win it all: Dunbar is a real threat to rape over half the cast, which for sure will leave Cara Maria in tears in a scene reminiscent of 300 "your not going to like this". Tyrie might actually be in good enough shape to play for the University of Nebraska for the first time in his life.
Why they won't: Dunbar and Paula hate each other too much to succeed. Cara Maria and Abe seem destined to explode. Aneesa has to compete with the boys. And Tyrie despite being 100 pounds less of Tyrie is still Tyrie.
Top 10 after the jump:
10. The Swamp Donkeys: Wes, Cara Maria, Robin, Dustin, Vinny
Why they'll win it all: Doubling up on the Wes trying to make a castmate cry and succeeding and Cara Maria handcuff was a stroke of genius. Vinny completes his transformation into Big Easy making no one want to face him in the Domefor fear weight will be involved.
Why they won't: Quite honestly Cara Maria and Robin are the only ones I expect to last past week 4. And I don't think Robin is gonna be involved in much drama.
9. Twink Squad: CT, Robin, Emily, Rachel, Mandi
Why they'll win it all: CT and Rachel intimidate the rest of the castmates to the point everyone else is afraid to look at them and Mandi sleeps her way back to the top next to CT in a move calculated by CT to infuriate Diem.
Why they won't win it all: CT has a history of trimming the fat which is typically woman. This does not bode well for Team Cleaver.
8. LeanBodyMovement: CT, Jasmine, Leroy, Nate
Why they'll win it all: CT cannabalizes all of his housemates including his teammates tho Nate gets heavily intoxicated beforehand.
Why they won't: All of their partners have serious flaws that could impair their ability to make it deep in the game
7. Team Mike: Mark, Mandi, Naomi, Vinny
Why they'll win: Mark gets all the way to the end and wins his first Challenge since Battle of the Sexes as part of his farewell tour. Mandi and Wes go into every single Dome where they fight and coitus their way through them. And Naomi ends up being every bit as crazy as we think.
Why they won't: Aside from Mark none of the other three members of this team have accomplished anything in elimination rounds.
6. Dunbar's Always Watching: Leroy, Abram, Dunbar, Naomi, Nate
Why they'll win it all: Leroy is a true genius who knows how stick around and pull out a clutch surprising win. Abram has tattoos and brands all over his body that he gave himself and is a real threat to wind up with multiple unexplained Cold sores. And there's a real chance Dunbar rapes someone this time
Why they won't: Naomi sucks. Abram could be quit to go save his business again. Paula could get creeped out by Dunbar and quits on him. And lets be real Nate's not gonna help much.
5. Ageless Wonders: Mark Long, Bananas, Emily, Rachel, Tyrie
Why they'll win it all: Mark and Bananas are the best one two punch in all of the leagues. Emily and Rachel are by far the strongest two girls in the game and Tyrie has dropped serious weight plus we know from the previews Jasmine's gonna hit him.
Why they won't: Lets be honest Mark is a little old he could easily throw a back, Rachel has to beat the boys everytime out that won't be easy. And oh yeah Tyries challenge history sucks.
4. Casual Molestation: CT, Abram, Mandi, Nate, Sarah
Why they'll win: The new mature CT returns to Duel II era punch through wall fitness with Duel I era restraint and dominates the competition, Abram goes insane, Mandi sleeps around, and Nates castmates stage an intervention.
Why they won't: The sight of Diem sends CT in Duel II era anger causing him to punch someone and go home, Abram dissassioates back to the small town Montana boy, Mandi stays loyal to her bf, and Nate gets a job at a nuclear power plant.
3. Team Burden: Mark, Jasmine, Ty, Paula, Vinny
Why the'll win: Mark Long will provide sound zen veteran leadership for a squad of noted youngster upandcoming hotheads in Jasmine, Ty, and Vinny enabling them to go further than ever before. Meanwhile Paula will do her thing crying and eating her skin in the background.
Why they won't: We haven't seen Mark Long since the Duel II it is certainly possible he lost a step and besides Paula none of the rest have even made a final challenge.
2. Team Staed: Johnny, Robin, Ty, Paula
Why they'll win: Johnny Robin and Paula are all veterans who know how to go deep into Challenges and score points along the way, getting Paula in the final round was the best pick out of all 3 drafts. Ty has scraped a decent career without really trying according to castmates if he decides to turn it on could be a factor.
Why they won't: If Bunim-Murray decides to feature the next generation these vets screen times could be seriously decreased reducing their point scoring abilities.
1. Effin Bananas: Bananas, Camilla, Cara Maria, Sarah, Dustin
Why they'll win: Johnny is the best player in this years challenge hands down. Camilla and Cara Maria are two of the better competitors for girls and also stand to gain major crying points. Sarah and Dustin are the best kind of non-factors capable of surprising you.
Why they won't: Wes and Mandi winning the power couple and sending in Bananas and Camilla could backfire on the #EffinBananas handcuff.
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