Week 2s Episode Highlight

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Gauntlet Draft Grades

25. Nate the Nuclear Engineer - Team Gower
Lets be real Nate and Priscilla are gonna be the first couple going home. That doesn't mean Nate isn't going to score more points then people that leave after him he has the highest potential for intoxication points of any Challenger since Adam Royer and is quite possible in the top 5 of that category of all time. Grade B+

24. Heather Marter - Team Gustafson
Probably the most boring RW castmate of her season Heather is going to need to step her game up if she hopes to become a Challenge regular. Fortunately I do think she has it in her she's one person making fun of her for Dustin's porn career away from a verbal argument, crying and calling her Mom. Grade B
23. Vinny Foti - Team Burden
As previously mentioned Vinny added a small child to part of his diet since we last saw him resulting in a nice pare shaped body. Due to his lack of intelligence this may be part of his strategy as he was eliminated by the much larger and doughier Big Easy. Grade B

22. Dustin Zito - Team Effin Bananas
Dustin will get at least 5 points each week hes there for confessionals. He will get made fun of for his (potential sexual orientation) and he may cry. If he gets drunk enough he might even fight. He's gonna hook up with Heather to prove his straightness and when doing all that he just might play a better Social/Physical game then you expect. Grade B-

21. Mandi Moyer - Team Cleaver
Mandi has always had two things going for her on the Challenges a willingness to try anything (see her licking a blood spot on the floor of the tent on the Fresh Meat II Combine) and willingness to hook up with just about all of her male castmates: Luke, Chet, CT, Wes (shes only been on 3 Challenges) unfortunately she has a serious boyfriend at home. Fortunately she got breast implants after Cutthroat so she should be ready to rock. Grade B+

20. Rachel Robinson - Team Cleaver
One of the strongest (her twitter is @Rachel_Fitness) female competitors in Challenge history she actually finished before all of the male's on The Duel II. Rachel will have to repeat her performance of beating men as she will for all intents and purposes be competing directly with them. Look for her to try and hook-up/coitus Emily Shromm as she promised in her preview video and give a better showing then you might expect against the males. Grade B+
19. Sarah Rice - Team Effin Bananas
The great tattoed one, Sarah always brings a sense of fun to the challenges as she's known around the house for having lots of games to pass the time. She also balances that with a fierce competitive side. Unfortunately for her she has only failed to podium when paired with a single partner. Whats double unfortunate is she is once again partnered with Vinny Foti who she paired with on her worst finish to date on Battle of the Sexes II whos singlehandedly kept the price of bacon grease steady by eating every last bit Tyrie said no to since we last saw him on Cutthroat. Grade B   
18. Paula "Walnuts" Meronek - Team Burden
The only bad part of Rivals was watching Paula get her first win. She was much more interesting as a truly pathetic character that didn't get that she wasn't really in any alliances and was not especially good at any challenge. Also we will no longer get to hear her say that she just cares about the win not the money whatever the hell that means. Fortunately I doubt winning solved any of her insecurity crisises so expect a self loathing filled coitus and multiple crying sessions. Grade A

17. Tyrie Ballard - Team Gustafson
To date Tyrie's best showing in a Challenge was probably the island where he lected to return home early due to an illness in the family? Coincidentally due to starvation that was probably the lightest Tyrie has been on a challenge which is why many are picking the big man to go far for the first time ever as he looks to have cut bacon grease out of his diet and may even be showering regularly. Grade B

16. Naomi Defensor - Team Gower
Classic stage 5 clinger, Naomi caught feelings for Leroy on RW Las Vegas. If they aren't reciprocated on Exes (they won't be) expect Naomi to do something crazy. This could damage their Social game when Johnny and CT decide they are tired of hearing her yelling, but should result in massive points before then regardless. Grade B+

Top 15 After the Break:

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Inferno Draft Grades

24. Heather Marter - Team Henne
Not likely to bring much to the table as one of the weaker RW minor leaguers in recent history.  Hopefully her partnership with Dustin as the only pair currently dating will lead to some coitus points. Grade C-

23. Rachel Robinson - Team Matt
One of the strongest female competitors in the history of the Challenge Rachel actually beat all of the boys to the finish on the Duel II.  It will be interesting to see if she can replicate that feat as she is half of the only all female team.  Grade B

22. Dustin Zito - Team Schilling
Former porn star Dustin became known on RW Las Vegas for two things fighting with Mike Mike and loooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg confessionals.  I like his chances of playing a strong Social game and sticking around longer than expected.  Grade B+

21. Paula Walnuts - Team Staed
Though hated by most fans for being an insecure wacko who lashes out at others for no reason just to feel better about her pathetic existence as Laurel Stuckey pointed out last Season on Rivals.  Paula is indisputadely the best value of this draft as if nothing else she can be counted on for consistent crying points and is even a threat to repeat as champion. Grade A+++

Top 20 after the jump.

Leagues


Unfortunately instead of taking a giant leap forward in the way fantasy is played and implementing a salary cap we will instead be splitting into leagues.  I suppose thats what I get for believing in America's Great Democratic tradition.  As such We will be splitting up into three different Leagues.

Breakdown after the Break.

2012 Battle of the Exes Rules

These rules were borrowed and slightly changed from the Grantland Fantasy League.  Hope everyone enjoys them.  Rules after the break